Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman - Silent Fright, Holy Fright Chrismassy Review
Director: Michael Cooney
Starring: Christopher Allport, Eileen Seely, Scott MacDonald, Ray Cooney
Written by: Michael Cooney
Produced by: Jeremy Paige, Vicki Slotnick
Cinematography by: Dean Lent
Original Score by: Chris Anderson
The Mutant Killer Snowman returns to kill more people during Christmas
Why do I do this to myself? Last year I reviewed 'Jack Frost', and not the fun Michael Keaton family classic, but the terrible 1997 direct to VHS Christmas based “horror” movie. Shannon Elizabeth gets assaulted with a carrot in it. Fun. So, this year, when given the choice I thought I'd try the sequel. It’s not an impossible task to have a horror sequel that’s as good, if not better, than the original. But guess what? 'Jack Frost 2' is a giant piece of snow-covered dog shit, hot and steaming, sitting on the front lawn ready to ruin your new Christmas guddies.
Returning for the sequel, we have Sam Tiler (Christopher Allport), the cop who helped take down Jack Frost in the first film. The movie starts with Sam in therapy, suffering from PTSD. As you can imagine, it’s as subtle as a fart in a lift. With the therapist laughing at the fact that Sam is afraid of a killer snowman. The scene could have been funny or set up the plot in an interesting way, but the whole scene has a distracting letterboxing border. I understand how letterboxing works, but it’s very clear that our beloved returning director, Michael Cooney, doesn’t. 75% of the scene is a black border, making it feel like you’re watching the film through someone’s post-box. Good start.
So, Sam and his wife decide to spend the holidays on a tropical island to avoid any triggering of Sam’s PTSD. BuT yOu’Ll NeVeR gUeSs WhAt HaPpEnS??? In a secret base, the FBI are testing the anti-freeze used to kill Jack Frost and while they’re looking, a cleaner comes in and accidentally knocks some coffee into the anti-freeze and Jack Frost returns. Cool. So, Jack Frost turns into water and somehow also ends up on the same island as Sam. How can the same thing happen to the same guy twice? Bad screenwriting, that’s how.
On the island, we meet some “interesting” characters. Colonel Hickering (played by Ray Cooney, the directors’ father) is by far the funniest character here; it’s very clear that Ray Cooney knows what type of bad B movie he’s in and really plays up to his 'Dad’s Army' type character. He also gets a death (spoilers) that genuinely surprised me with how good the practical effect was. Other characters include Captain Fun and Agent Manners, who was apparently in the first movie. I’m not going to double check it. I’ll never revisit the first film again. Most of the side characters become cannon fodder for Jack Frost to kill while delivering terrible puns. Puns that would make Arnold in 'Batman and Robin' blush.
Towards the end, they introduce that Jack can make small snowball versions of himself, and they kind of act like little Gremlins, but nothing fun ever comes of it. This really sums up the whole film. It’s in this weird grey area of wanting to be a campy B movie and wanting to be considered a classic holiday monster movie. Some actors get it and are having fun with it, but others are really trying to act their heart out. 'Jack Frost 2' isn’t the time or place to improve your acting showreel sadly.
The absolute best part of the film is knowing there isn’t a third one. This can’t happen again next year. The idea of a third film has been floated by Michael Cooney, but like most shit that floats, it should be flushed down the drain, never to be seen again.
- Adam Neeson